i wasn't going to post tonight. i'm really tired for some reason. was just going to sleep a long sleep. but then read ryan's entry tonight, and i got a big smile on my face. being content, shouldn't that be everyone's goal in life? i sure would like it. i love being happy for others, and i've never been happier for him. its funny because i'm actually speechless. i really don't know what to say. i don't think my night could get any better, than seeing a friend as happy as he. and yeah, i've felt that way a few times here and there. those connections we have are a rare thing, but when it happens, well, i guess there aren't words to even describe it. these feelings sadly do not last forever, however i think because they become the highlights of our lives, they are worth all the pain in the end when we lose hold of it. basically what i'm saying is, love makes life worth living. its the only thing.
i feel like nothing else i write from this point on tonight will even be worth the time after the above paragraph. however, i do gotta give a shout out to our girl Lyndsie Lee!! she's a freaking star in the class and got the highest grade on the exam! props to her, the hardest working partner of the law firm. my sis is here now. her and kim are watching Maid in Manhattan, which is why i'm in here of course (and also why i want to go to bed). gonna teach her how to drive tomorrow. should be interesting. i just want to say that i still don't write everything i want to in here, and i apologize for that. i don't suppose i ever will be the open book i hoped to become. if i were to really open up, my world would shatter. i feel like i am cheating everyone out though when i write on here, but i know its for the best. i've lost one too many friends in the past, i'd never leave the house if i lost anymore. so i'm sorry for being secretive, but that's just the way its gotta be.
well, girls are going to bed now, so i must as well. good night and sweet dreams to all. tomorrow is another day to find whatever it is we are looking for. i'd tell you what that is for me, but then i'd have to kill you.
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